Macaroni Kid is excited to bring you a monthly feature sponsored by Impact Parenting. Q & A with Liann is your chance to ask those tough parenting Questions ... and get some good Answers!
From Jen O. (4 kids under the age of 5): How can you get kids to consistently clean up their room? We've tried everything from rewarding, taking stuff away, ignoring the mess, etc. Thanks for your help!
The cleaning of a child’s room or their playroom is in the category of chores.
Here is how a parent develops responsibility around chores according to Dr. Foster Cline.
Developmentally, chores happen in three steps:
- Early Childhood: The child has you, the chore and fun
- Elementary: The child has, the chores and fun
- High school: if the child is responsible in school, the community and at home then back of on chores
So to answer your question:
- Create a routine around when you clean the room, right away when they get up, after breakfast, etc.
- You do the chore with your child (modeling is happening)
- Make it fun! Sing a song, make it a race, etc.
Then when your child is 6-7 years old, you step out of the picture, and they have the chore and fun (at least the good feeling you planted in the early years).
However, IF your child does not engage in the chore fun WITH you it is time to use an Enforceable Statement such as: “I go to the park with kids who help clean up their room” The key is that you follow through on NOT going to the park and use a lot of empathy while delivering the bad news about no park (or whatever else means life).
Hopefully, there will be no need for the consequence because there will be so much enjoyment in doing the chore with you.
Have fun and look forward to when your child naturally does the chore, that’s true responsibility developed.
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Liann Smith is an independent facilitator of the Becoming a Love and Logic Parent® cirricula. She is also the mother of three grown children as well as a foster parent of two little ones. Impact Parenting is a non-profit based in North Bend and offers parent coaching (on location, in office, or by phone) as well as Love and Logic classes.
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If YOU have a question for Liann, please leave a comment below or send an email to danav(at)macaronikid(dot)com. Liann will be providing answers again in May.
